I now choose to love myself enough to put myself first and set a boundary that my self-care comes first and I am safe.
I hope you like my revving up my blogging. I love writing - it's one of "my things" and just sharing things that I hope can help in your journey. And plus, it's always great to share with like-minded friends AND hear back from you! (you can always email me and share thoughts too!)
And don't worry - this isn't the end. I am revving up the writing AND I have been a busy bee lately but it took its toll and I learned something I want to share with you...why choosing love is SO important - even when it comes to yourself!
I am FINALLY feeling human again after being hit with this summer bug.
I sat and moped the first few days.
Why me? I am a solopreneur! I don't have time for this!
I have clients to talk to, groups to facilitate, readings to do!
I spent 3 days like this. I wonder if you can relate to this frustrated feeling when you're sick.
It's like, not only did I physically feel terrible but I was guilty, angry, and let's face it full of fear-based crap that my body wasn't cooperating and my business (not to mention my mortgage payment) was suffering for it! (was this true for me? Nope - but my itty bitty shitty committee LOVED the fact I was buying into it!)
I was SO mad at myself for getting sick.
Then it dawned on me - What would I tell a client or a friend in the same situation?
Have you been thinking, I need a break? Maybe, putting off self-care?
Have you just recently fully stepped into your truth?
Start going inward with love rather than beating yourself up with fear.
So I did.
I realized, not only did I need to surrender and take care of myself so I could show up 100% for y'all whenever we chat, I share a new blog post, video, course or exercise BUT also...
When I spent 23yrs in the legal field, at first I was listening to my truth and doing spiritual work, musical work, and back then I LOVED Intellectual Property law (I told you I was a #nerdgirl). I was totally in my element.
Then I decided to follow the dollars instead of the passion and lost my mojo...
I stopped singing.
I stopped my entertainment law work.
Probably the most detrimental to my spirit, I not only stopped my spiritual work, I was, in fact, afraid of letting anyone know who I was from a spiritual perspective. And that's a HUGE part of who we are. In doing all this, I turned my back on my divine calling.
After a while, I totally forgot who I was while I was chasing everyone else's dream.
From an energetic perspective, I pretty much had shut down all my upper chakras and created a blockage there.
Once I finally re-awakened, I started not only reacquainting myself with all the elements of my divine calling, brushing up my inherited skill sets, and jump-starting my personal growth but I also started the self-care process to heal all the blocks I had created over the last 2 decades!
OY Vey! That was a job for sure and it still continues.
In the last week, I finally cleared that last mess in my throat chakra where I had a blockage for not speaking my truth for all those years.
Once I realized this, I forgave myself for giving in to blame, shame, guilt, anger and fear. I decided in that moment to choose love.
In choosing love for myself while I wasn't physically feeling fab, :
:: I still did the work I had committed to but with an element of self-compassion
:: I allowed myself to nap when I felt I needed to
:: I showered myself in throat chakra singing bowl sound bath meditations - even if I couldn't breathe through my nose
:: I journaled about what I was feeling
:: I forgave myself for all those years I didn't listen to my divine calling - I realized it was part of what I needed to do so I would be even more ready for this bigger version of my divine calling.
:: lastly, I learned how to love myself more than I ever had.
I woke up today thinking, OMG! I feel HUMAN again! When In fact, when I think about it, all the inner, self-care work I did last week, I feel like my spiritual side has leveled up!
Michele Stans is a 4th generation intuitive medium, certified life coach, law of attraction teacher, author, student, and spiritual advisor.