The Power of Positive Thinking is BS (Yep you heard me...)
...stick with me and I will shift your consciousness which is WAY better than your thinking...
The power of positive thinking is bullshit. Yep you heard me - bullshit.
(Did she just say that? Isn’t she a Law of Attraction Coach? Isn’t positive thinking the whole THING in Law of Attraction?) I hear you - and stick with me because I am going to shine a light here that will change your process forever.
First, to me telling someone who is in the midst of a horrifying tragedy to just “think positive thoughts” is like having a 10day old pail full of garbage out in the heat and thinking if I slap a giant happy face sticker on the outside it will make it smell better. It’s just plain silly.
I’m, of course, in a ton of Law of Attraction or manifesting facebook groups. The things I see in there and the way questions are not addressed really kinda makes me sad for those asking. So I my thought is, I will start addressing them here.
So positive thinking. Let’s clear one thing up right now. YES - we need to intentionally live our lives and think our thoughts. That means we must intentionally choose who we hang out with, what we watch and listen to and what we read. These things are the food for our soul and our VIBRATION. This is where our thoughts come from.
If choose to not be accountable for our thoughts you can unhappily float through life being victimized by life. OR you can claim ownership of your thoughts and thus your life - it is truly up to you.
Let’s assume you’re going to step to the plate and be accountable. Look around right now at your life. Do you like what you see? Is it all that you want? Are you happy?
Now if the answer is yes - close this webpage and go play outside because you’re doing just fab!
If the answer is “no” then let’s talk. So if in this moment you’re looking at your life and things could get better or maybe things are really not going so well. Maybe there are some challenges with your work, your boss is an ass, your partner is pissing you off, or maybe it’s more, “Where the heck is my partner already?!” Whatever you are seeing in your life right now that is not bringing you joy - if I showed up all Pollyanna-Like and said to you, “Just turn that frown upside down!” You’d probably want to slap the ever loving crap out of me.
If you are in that icky place where perky people annoy you because you feel like crap - positive thinking not only makes it worse BUT it gives you one more thing to focus on that you don’t want.
So - how do we shift this if positive thinking isn’t the answer?
Well, let’s start with the fact that THINKING isn’t really the answer here at all. It’s feeling. It’s about what you are feeling.
Feelings generate thoughts. When you feel bad about a situation - your brain goes into a few different modes:
- How do I fix this mode
- Whoa was me mode
- Why is this happening to me mode
- How am I going to get myself out of this mode
Lots of modes here. Modes are your feelings manifesting into thoughts. During these modes your fear is engaged. So the negative self talk may come up as well in these modes.
There are a few keys to shifting these feelings and thus your modes..
Key 1 - Actually being aware of the fact you are in a negative mode. If you are blissfully (or in this case piss-fully) unaware that you are even in a negative mode - no there is nothing you can do about it. However, once you are aware and say to yourself, “Wait - I am in a negative mode.” THEN you have a starting point.
Key 2 - Once you have a starting point you can shift. So we know that Thoughts become Things - so if we stay in this negative mode, our thoughts will remain negative and thus we will create more negative or unpleasant experiences for ourselves. So with that in mind - we now have a starting point to say - how can I shift from where I am to where I want to go.
Key 3 - Give yourself permission to step out of the situation. A lot of times people think they can fix a negative situation with more negativity. However, I have never seen anything shift into a positive mode through using shame, blame, guilt or fear. NEVER - it cannot be done. You can not shift into a positive mode using negative vibration. That said - when we are in a place where the negative mode, feelings, or vibration are SO LOUD that we can’t even see or hear a good vibration if someone flung it at our heads - we need to stop. We need to understand so long as we fight it - we are still in a negative mode. Stop. Surrender. Take a Breath. Step away from the situation - whether that be physically or emotionally. Physically - step away. Go for a walk, go to the restroom, go somewhere to have a quiet moment. Emotionally - allow yourself to take a break and get centered. Force your brain to think about something else.
Key 4 - Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling from the lens of the observer. When you step away you can look back and see from a birds eye view what the situation is and how you are reacting to it. Was it helpful? Was it productive? Nope - most likely not. Allow yourself to observe.
Key 5 - Choose a better feeling thought. We don’t have to go back to the upsetting situation. We can focus our attention on something that makes us feel good. So in this moment - think about 3 things you love. It could be I love my dog. I love the way I did my make up this morning. I love the way the spring breeze blows through the trees today - the sound makes me happy. I love fresh tomato and bacon sandwiches. Whatever you love - you need to state them and FEEL them. REALLY think about those things you love and from this your vibration will rise.
In doing the above, you will shift from fear to love. It is only from a place of love that we can manifest what we want. Only from a place of love that we can understand why is really happening. In that moment, we give ourselves love. The negative self talk cannot harm us if we are in a place of love.
From this place, send love to all the people, places, and things that are in that situation which was evoking negative feelings. And know that whatever we feel about any given situation we ALLOW (this is part of that accountability I talked about earlier). From this place of love, know that the Universe has your back, that all will work out for the highest good for all involved and all is well.
So you see, this is not about the trite saying, “Think positive!” This is not slapping a happy face sticker on a smelly trash bin and calling it good enough. This is part of New Thought. This is part of the inner shift one must continuously make as a spiritual being having a human experience. The human side will always have experiences. As humans we have free will to choose if we will feel good about those experiences or bad about those experiences. If we lean into our spiritual side for support in these moments to know we come from a place where there is only love. There is no need for positive thinking or for people who “don’t get it” to say that it’s “that easy”.
I will admit - sometimes this shift can be a challenge and sometimes not. However, the process is well worth it because in the end rather than just having a positive thought, you have a positive feeling, mode, vibration and things created in your life from a place of love and joy!
Michele Stans is a 4th generation intuitive medium, certified life coach, law of attraction teacher, author, student, and spiritual advisor.