What Owning Your Truth Really Means
Even Wonder Woman had to Own Her Truth that She is a Powerful Demi-Goddess!
I am sure if you are reading this blog and have found your way to my website - you’re not here looking for how to videos on how to make a macrame bowling ball holder…You’re probably somewhere on the woo-woo, metaphysical scale and have heard or even uttered the phrase, “Standing in your truth” or “Owning your truth.” But how many of us know what that truly means?
I feel like phrases “Own your truth” or “Speak your truth” is going to be an answer to the question - what is one of the most overused phrases in the woo-woo community or what’s the most annoying or overexposed phrase. I think this is because we use it so frequently without really understanding what that encompasses.
We all know one of the steps in our journey is stepping into and owning our truth. This can be one of the most frightening and exhilarating shifts you will ever experience on your spiritual journey because it is the moment you leave the life that you were living for everyone else behind like an old worn out coat that neither fits your body or your personality style anymore and you step into the life you know you are meant to live.
It can feel really good when you take each next right step towards who you really are but also there are few other things that can happen. Since we are human we will always feel the contrast. The contrast being our own choices between love and fear in each moment as well as being witness to other people’s love or fear choices in each moment.
There are people around us who we have known for years that may fall away or move closer to us as we shift. And we must be compassionate not only with ourselves but with those around us. It would be unfair of us to hold these people accountable for their anger or fear of how our shift affects them because for all those previous years we had built a foundation of a relationship on something, that for us, wasn’t real. We were playing a role, wearing a mask or just trying to please everyone else first rather than ourselves. So when you flip the script and start caring for yourself first - these folks may have a hard time with it.
If there are people in your life that you truly want to keep in your life, you might want to have a chat with them about your shift. About the new strength, you’ve discovered and let them know what you will and won’t tolerate in your space anymore and what your boundaries are. It is only fair to share this information with them so they know what’s going on and also so that they now know what your boundaries are. If after that they continue to push, to act from a place of fear and anger towards you as you are compassionately assertive about owning your truth and standing in your power - then you can enforce your boundaries with them and remember once you’ve set and announced your boundaries in a compassionately assertive way - you have no responsibility to own their response nor their actions in connection with how they react to your next right actions.
And as you shift into your truth, your vibration will change. So there will really not be a need to have an overt, hunger games culling of your friends and family. What happens is your vibration changes and as such people will either rise up to meet you, you will attract new like vibration people and those who are not a vibrational match to the new you will naturally fall away. Like attracts like and repels unlike. So those who do not match your vibe, are in resentment over your shift, or just don’t jive with your jam anymore will weed themselves out. This isn’t mean - it is just how things work.
Now, we’ve talked about the process AFTER you step into your truth but the actual process of doing it can be a little tricky and honestly for me - came in stages.
1. Reclaim/Rediscover who you really are. The first stage was me reclaiming my calling to be an intuitive medium, which runs in my family, and to do readings but not in the traditional sense of being the “yes or no” Oracle for people. My readings are done from an intuitive spirit connection but in such a way that gives people clarity and to support them in their own next right choices so they could make their own lives better. I personally prefer this self-empowering intuitive support for others than the traditional readings - and this was part of rediscovering and reclaiming who I am and how I present my gifts to the world. Seeing into my clients (or fri-ents - friend/clients - as I call them), their soul, their true self at a soul level and bringing out the light within that was not shining through for some reason. Then I discovered coaching - which in a nutshell is doing exactly that - finding the light and nurturing it in people.
2. Give yourself permission to let go of that which no longer serves you (even if you’ve dedicated a big chunk of your life to it…) At this moment when I rediscover and reclaimed the real me, I was working in the legal field, which was a complete 180 degrees from where I was being called to be. And this was effing painful! And as I tell people - the longer you resist your calling, the more painful it will get for you to ignore and it may even get to the point where the universe is all - I am sick and tired of you hedging on your calling and I am going to create a situation where you MUST leave where you are and have no other choice but to move towards your calling.
Making the decision to move towards your calling but choosing fear. Yep - I chose fear for 6 effing years! So, I knew at my last job in corporate America I HAD to make a change. I was over it and I needed to do something. I already had my intuitive readings practice, had added coaching to the mix and this was my side hustle at the time. In this time, I made a plan to leave and be done with this part of my life forever. BUT I had made this choice before and nothing came of it.
Because I wasn’t owning my FULL truth. It’s all great and powerful to state emphatically who you are, not giving a hoot about what other people think, and just doing you. However, as always with “the contrast” there is another component to this. The vulnerability component.
I am sure you’re thinking - it took all my courage to shout from the rooftops who I really am and how I am going to make these big changes. It was scary and I did it. I am standing in my truth…. right?
Well, maybe so, but not completely.
Standing in your truth and choosing love to see you through… Why was this time different from all the other times? I was willing to stand in my truth with myself. There is one thing I have discovered that is even scarier than stating who you really are to others. It’s stating who you really are - celebrations and fears - to yourself and taking next right inspired action steps towards your self.
When you get really real with yourself, it’s super easy to tell yourself that you are, say, an intuitive medium who is a coach but what’s not easy is to share the stuff that you’re afraid of, the words being whispered to you by your itty bitty shitty committee telling you that if you quit your high paying yet soul-sucking job you will lose your house and never eat again. It tells you - “who makes a living doing that?” “The only way you can survive in this world is by working for someone else.”
When you can look at your inner naysayer and all the fears they are reinforcing and own them - like really own them, only then can you start to figure out how to overcome them.
Own ALL of you. Your spirit side and your ego side. Own and LOVE all of you! The only way you can overcome this and get to where you can start participating in the life you see for yourself is to own it, love it and call it by name. Otherwise, it will own you - until you do.
So I owned my fears around the unknown of soulpreneurship. The - where will my clients come from? how do I figure out my taxes? Can I pay my mortgage payment? OMG! What will all my current colleagues think?! All of these were fears of mine. Will I ever make a red cent again? AHHHHHH! I mean I am a Virgo - we’re not always good with throwing caution to the wind…but we also know how powerful we are when we step away from all the BS about Virgos and start using all our fabulous traits that make us good friends and employees towards our own self-care and dreams…
It’s time to get the band back together…build your team. Once I stopped ignoring these fears and turned around and looked them each in the eye and called them by name, I knew I had to put my team Michele together and that I couldn’t do all of this alone. I got here alone and that was great but I needed people who had blazed a trail before me to help me and I needed to invest in myself to take me across that initial finish line.
I hired a wellness team for myself of a reflexologist, an energy practitioner, an acupuncturist, and a coach who specialized in compassionate ass kicking and getting out of your own way. All of which helped me woman up and make my leap.
I am not saying it wasn’t scary AF but for the first time I knew not only was I not alone but none of this would kill me. I did it when it felt right to me in a way that wasn’t procrastination (cause sometimes - It doesn’t feel right just means - I am scared and sometimes it’s taking advantage of the right moment. I did the latter).
However, I couldn’t do this without first getting really real with myself. Standing in and speaking my truth in a way that was fearless - and it’s a common misconception that if you can’t do this alone it’s not meant for you. No woman is an island and sometimes you need that village that loves you, wants the best for you without judgment on your side to see you through.
It’s like when people say to you “Other people’s opinions are none of your business.” We say this a lot of times if the “other person” is saying something nasty about us. BUT the opposite is just as true. Whether someone tells you that the dress you’re wearing isn’t flattering or that it makes you look 10lbs thinner - neither of these opinions is any of your business regardless of how they might make you feel. Why? Because - it is whether or not WE feel good in the dress that matters. So regardless of if they say it’s pretty or not - we don’t need to buy into this external validation. It’s about how YOU feel that matters.
Same is true with Standing in or Owning your truth. You might perceive it as a good thing to shout from the rooftops what your calling is and what you want to do and that’s great, but the fear around it may not be so great and so you might ignore that to focus only on the good things because when I do that I feel the external value of it.
The truth is both are equally important and have nothing to do with external value. If we are honoring our light in shouting our dreams from the rooftops we must also honor our fears to know them, call them out, seek the help we may need, and dissolve them or overcome them to move forward in our truth.
Nothing is wrong with this and it is not a weakness. In fact, if you think shouting your dreams and calling from the rooftops is empowering, try looking your fear in the eye and saying - I see you and I am going to love you so much and give you so much support that you will never be fearful again. THAT’S empowering.
Loving that which scares the ever loving poo out of you empowered you to find ways to break through those deep-seated blocks and move towards your desires. I promise you - if you’ve been wondering about why you’re not moving ahead in your calling, it’s time to check in with yourself, get really honest with yourself, why are you afraid? is it confidence? is it worthiness? is it co-dependency? What is it? Look at it, call it by name and give it light. Shine a light on it and it will no longer be a fear anymore.
Michele Stans is a 4th generation intuitive medium, certified life coach, law of attraction teacher, author, student, and spiritual advisor.
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